third draft
The cold air cuts through my lungs, drowning them in short gasps. When the whistle sounds, the only thing that’s in focus is the ball, my team, and the pitch. As my football boots claw at the grass, the sound of my blood pulsing through my body disappears beneath the swarm of thoughts racing through my mind: “Am I in position?--Should I attack or stay on defense?--Am I doing something wrong? Two minutes left on the clock and it’s 35 to 7. In my mind I argue to myself: ‘Why are you guys giving up? Tighter defence, give it all you've got. Come on there's still time!’ The ref slowly draws out his whistle. Our goalie reaches out to block a final attack. The silence that has fallen over the pitch is broken by the sound of our net embracing the ball. The ref brings the whistle to his mouth and blows, a sharp ring echoes through the air. ‘Game over’.
There are so many thoughts and emotions when playing. You're always thinking 'Am I doing the right thing? How can I be in a better position?’. Losing to a respectable team, I can accept, but losing because we gave up, that I cannot. Games like these are the most disappointing. When we keep losing, point after point, I can't even recognize my team anymore, it's as if all the fight in the team has died. They just give up. For them, this may be just a hobby, but for me, football is my passion and I want my passion to be my career. I want to be noticed, I want to make something of it, I want the years I spent losing and winning with my team to mean something in the end.
I joined my first football team at the age of 13, the ‘Weekend Team’. I would take every game seriously. When I wasn't in school, I was on the pitch with my team, this is the battlefield on which my team and I put in hours of training and practice, and as we spent more time together, we became a team. Everyone gave each other constructive criticism, and through that, the team improved as a whole. Teammates, they aren’t there to put you down, they are “mates”. Without them you won’t go anywhere, and you can’t play without them. They taught me the importance of a team and working as a team.
What made the weekend team special is that the members were always changing, therefore, I grew to recognise the types of people I respect, reflecting the kind of person I want to be. I respect people who possess perseverance, commitment, and determination. Even though I believe I do possess these traits, I am always striving to grow and strengthen those virtues so I can be a person that I, and others, respect.
There were numerous frustrating moments when working with my Weekend Team, and this is true for any team sport. But once in awhile you experience a very special moment, when your team just ‘clicks’, and it's the most amazing feeling a sports player can experience. That is why we play, that is why despite the losses and no matter how many points we are behind, we can never give up. I can never give up. Because if I do, then we may never, as a team, be able to experience that moment.
I learned that the mind can be a tricky thing. It can deceive you into defeat, or it can give you the power to achieve greatness. Football taught me that even though winning is not your strong point, what really matters in the end is how much effort you put into every game. Because when you invest effort and perseverance into anything in life, you will always gain something from that input. It may not be a 1st place trophy, but the experience, strengthened character, and comrades you gained along that journey, that is the real trophy. A trophy will rust and collect dust over time, whereas the grow I’ve experienced by pushing past the defeat, not listening to the doubt, and striving for greatness, that will always stay with me and never fade.
Changes:
I changed a lot, basically the whole structure, but still off the same information. After having Sasha read my previous second draft and rereading it myself, I realized that there was way too much filler and flowery words. So I tried to cut it down a bit. Also I realized that there wasn't any Ah-ha moment, so I tried to add that in near the end. I still don't think this is work I'm proud of though, needs more working on.
There are so many thoughts and emotions when playing. You're always thinking 'Am I doing the right thing? How can I be in a better position?’. Losing to a respectable team, I can accept, but losing because we gave up, that I cannot. Games like these are the most disappointing. When we keep losing, point after point, I can't even recognize my team anymore, it's as if all the fight in the team has died. They just give up. For them, this may be just a hobby, but for me, football is my passion and I want my passion to be my career. I want to be noticed, I want to make something of it, I want the years I spent losing and winning with my team to mean something in the end.
I joined my first football team at the age of 13, the ‘Weekend Team’. I would take every game seriously. When I wasn't in school, I was on the pitch with my team, this is the battlefield on which my team and I put in hours of training and practice, and as we spent more time together, we became a team. Everyone gave each other constructive criticism, and through that, the team improved as a whole. Teammates, they aren’t there to put you down, they are “mates”. Without them you won’t go anywhere, and you can’t play without them. They taught me the importance of a team and working as a team.
What made the weekend team special is that the members were always changing, therefore, I grew to recognise the types of people I respect, reflecting the kind of person I want to be. I respect people who possess perseverance, commitment, and determination. Even though I believe I do possess these traits, I am always striving to grow and strengthen those virtues so I can be a person that I, and others, respect.
There were numerous frustrating moments when working with my Weekend Team, and this is true for any team sport. But once in awhile you experience a very special moment, when your team just ‘clicks’, and it's the most amazing feeling a sports player can experience. That is why we play, that is why despite the losses and no matter how many points we are behind, we can never give up. I can never give up. Because if I do, then we may never, as a team, be able to experience that moment.
I learned that the mind can be a tricky thing. It can deceive you into defeat, or it can give you the power to achieve greatness. Football taught me that even though winning is not your strong point, what really matters in the end is how much effort you put into every game. Because when you invest effort and perseverance into anything in life, you will always gain something from that input. It may not be a 1st place trophy, but the experience, strengthened character, and comrades you gained along that journey, that is the real trophy. A trophy will rust and collect dust over time, whereas the grow I’ve experienced by pushing past the defeat, not listening to the doubt, and striving for greatness, that will always stay with me and never fade.
Changes:
I changed a lot, basically the whole structure, but still off the same information. After having Sasha read my previous second draft and rereading it myself, I realized that there was way too much filler and flowery words. So I tried to cut it down a bit. Also I realized that there wasn't any Ah-ha moment, so I tried to add that in near the end. I still don't think this is work I'm proud of though, needs more working on.