freewrite 1 Odysseus' Life - Our Life, Our Journey
Original:
Story's and the sharing of experiences bring people together, they connect people from different backgrounds with just the use of words. The Odyssey, by Homer, connects to us through its main character Odysseus, whose life, even though set in an ancient world of great gods and monsters, is more similar to people of the modern world than one may think.
Life is a series of waves filled with obstacles, temptation, hopes, and dreams. It has it's ups and downs, sometimes two fates may crash into one another, releasing a flash of chaos. But there's always a calm after the storm. As we, people, have struggles in our daily lives whether they be a small or a matter of life and death, so does Odysseus in the story of The Odyssey. It's how we handle these hardships that shape who we are and will become. The Odyssey tells a journey of a man trying to get home to his beloved wife and son after being separated because of war and his troubles at sea keeping him from his home, Ithaca, for twenty years. The distance and obstacles standing in the way of Odysseus' return home isn't the only thing that's troubling, but far away back at home his wife and son are being tormented by men wanting marry Odysseus' wife, Penelope, and won't leave the house until she Marries one of the men.
Odysseus is tormented by the thought of other men in his house around his family and unable to run to them and hold them in a protective Embrace. However, this threat is what drives him to carry on and reminds him of his purpose while temptation in the form of women and riches try to steer him off track. An important lesson I think everyone can learn is not to be prideful, this is one of many heroes downfalls, they do foolish things in the act of too much pride, as Odysseus does when he angers a cyclops just because he wanted to boast his victory, which caused his arrival home to be delayed even more all because of his foolish pride.
The Odyssey is a story about a man wanting to be with his family again and not ever giving up on getting home to them. That you should never give up on someone or something that’s important to you, especially when there is temptation trying to distract you in whatever form or shape it may take on. Also, don't let your pride be your own end, stay. If you truly want to archive something and are determined enough, you can accomplish the goals and dreams in your life.
Peer Review:
3 suggestions
the voice of the text is pretty straightforward, so maybe but some little intonations into it..
Next time, maybe try working on other essay styles.
and.. organize the characters and stories a little bit more
3 good parts
YOUR SUMMARY OF BOTH STORIES WERE UNDERSTANDABLE
easy and simple
and.. comparing Homer and Virgil in so many different aspects, was interesting to read.
and the text is very organised and the paragraphs are all neatly put together
Formalized:
Life is a series of waves filled with obstacles, temptation, hopes, and dreams. It has it's ups and downs, sometimes two fates may crash into one another, releasing a flash of chaos. But there's always a calm after the storm. As we, people, have struggles in our daily lives whether they be a small or a matter of life and death, so does hero Odysseus in the story of “The Odyssey”. It's how we handle these hardships that shape who we are and will become.
The Odyssey tells a story of a man trying to get home to his land of Ithaca and to his beloved wife and son, after being separated for twenty years out at sea because of the war. Along his journey, he is presented with numerous temptations in the form of women and riches. These indulges try to steer him off track, attempting to make him forget about his family and home.
One of the many obstacles Odysseus must face in his journey, is himself. Odysseus’ pride leads to the suffering of his men as well as himself. His pride causes his arrival home to being delayed when he angers a cyclops just because he wanted to boast about his victory. This is one of many heroes’ downfalls, they do foolish things in the act of too much pride. An important lesson I think we all can learn from these heros is not to be too prideful.
The distance from his family and obstacles he must face, are not the only things that's troubling Odysseus. Back home, his wife and son are being tormented by men wanting to wed Odysseus' wife, Penelope, and won't leave the house until she decides to marry one of the suitors. Odysseus is tormented by the thought of other men in his house, and around his family. He feels useless, the fact that he is unable to run to their rescue and hold them in a protective embrace gives him deep distress. However, this threat is the fuel that makes him carry on and persevere through all that gets in his way, while constantly reminding him of his purpose, pushing aside the thoughts of temptation that try to steer him off track. The very cause of his distress is what’s keeping him alive.
The Odyssey is the journey of a man, fighting to return home to be with his family once again. He never gives up on getting home to them. Odysseus’ story teaches us many life lesson we should all take to heart. We should have that same fight in us, to never give up on someone or something that’s important to you, especially when things get tough, the hardships you face in order to the top of the mountain, is what’s going to make the view that much more spectacular. Also, don't befall the fate of prideful heros, do not let your pride be your own end. If you truly want to archive something and are determined enough, you can accomplish the goals and dreams you set out in your life. Just always remember your purpose, like Odysseus, and let that be your lighthouse, which will guide you across the dark barren sea.
Process explanation:
I took my original freewrite and read through to find the main points I made in my freewrite. I found three main points that I could divide into the three paragraphs. I looked through what I've already written in order to find a good hook and conclusion. After I have my main structure sorted out, I then start editing what I've already writen by adding more info and making the words flow better. Then I connect each paragraph in a way that the readers can easily follow my train of thought. What I realized while reading my original freewrite was that my hook was located at the begining of my second paragraph, I thought this was an interesting self observation.
Story's and the sharing of experiences bring people together, they connect people from different backgrounds with just the use of words. The Odyssey, by Homer, connects to us through its main character Odysseus, whose life, even though set in an ancient world of great gods and monsters, is more similar to people of the modern world than one may think.
Life is a series of waves filled with obstacles, temptation, hopes, and dreams. It has it's ups and downs, sometimes two fates may crash into one another, releasing a flash of chaos. But there's always a calm after the storm. As we, people, have struggles in our daily lives whether they be a small or a matter of life and death, so does Odysseus in the story of The Odyssey. It's how we handle these hardships that shape who we are and will become. The Odyssey tells a journey of a man trying to get home to his beloved wife and son after being separated because of war and his troubles at sea keeping him from his home, Ithaca, for twenty years. The distance and obstacles standing in the way of Odysseus' return home isn't the only thing that's troubling, but far away back at home his wife and son are being tormented by men wanting marry Odysseus' wife, Penelope, and won't leave the house until she Marries one of the men.
Odysseus is tormented by the thought of other men in his house around his family and unable to run to them and hold them in a protective Embrace. However, this threat is what drives him to carry on and reminds him of his purpose while temptation in the form of women and riches try to steer him off track. An important lesson I think everyone can learn is not to be prideful, this is one of many heroes downfalls, they do foolish things in the act of too much pride, as Odysseus does when he angers a cyclops just because he wanted to boast his victory, which caused his arrival home to be delayed even more all because of his foolish pride.
The Odyssey is a story about a man wanting to be with his family again and not ever giving up on getting home to them. That you should never give up on someone or something that’s important to you, especially when there is temptation trying to distract you in whatever form or shape it may take on. Also, don't let your pride be your own end, stay. If you truly want to archive something and are determined enough, you can accomplish the goals and dreams in your life.
Peer Review:
3 suggestions
the voice of the text is pretty straightforward, so maybe but some little intonations into it..
Next time, maybe try working on other essay styles.
and.. organize the characters and stories a little bit more
3 good parts
YOUR SUMMARY OF BOTH STORIES WERE UNDERSTANDABLE
easy and simple
and.. comparing Homer and Virgil in so many different aspects, was interesting to read.
and the text is very organised and the paragraphs are all neatly put together
Formalized:
Life is a series of waves filled with obstacles, temptation, hopes, and dreams. It has it's ups and downs, sometimes two fates may crash into one another, releasing a flash of chaos. But there's always a calm after the storm. As we, people, have struggles in our daily lives whether they be a small or a matter of life and death, so does hero Odysseus in the story of “The Odyssey”. It's how we handle these hardships that shape who we are and will become.
The Odyssey tells a story of a man trying to get home to his land of Ithaca and to his beloved wife and son, after being separated for twenty years out at sea because of the war. Along his journey, he is presented with numerous temptations in the form of women and riches. These indulges try to steer him off track, attempting to make him forget about his family and home.
One of the many obstacles Odysseus must face in his journey, is himself. Odysseus’ pride leads to the suffering of his men as well as himself. His pride causes his arrival home to being delayed when he angers a cyclops just because he wanted to boast about his victory. This is one of many heroes’ downfalls, they do foolish things in the act of too much pride. An important lesson I think we all can learn from these heros is not to be too prideful.
The distance from his family and obstacles he must face, are not the only things that's troubling Odysseus. Back home, his wife and son are being tormented by men wanting to wed Odysseus' wife, Penelope, and won't leave the house until she decides to marry one of the suitors. Odysseus is tormented by the thought of other men in his house, and around his family. He feels useless, the fact that he is unable to run to their rescue and hold them in a protective embrace gives him deep distress. However, this threat is the fuel that makes him carry on and persevere through all that gets in his way, while constantly reminding him of his purpose, pushing aside the thoughts of temptation that try to steer him off track. The very cause of his distress is what’s keeping him alive.
The Odyssey is the journey of a man, fighting to return home to be with his family once again. He never gives up on getting home to them. Odysseus’ story teaches us many life lesson we should all take to heart. We should have that same fight in us, to never give up on someone or something that’s important to you, especially when things get tough, the hardships you face in order to the top of the mountain, is what’s going to make the view that much more spectacular. Also, don't befall the fate of prideful heros, do not let your pride be your own end. If you truly want to archive something and are determined enough, you can accomplish the goals and dreams you set out in your life. Just always remember your purpose, like Odysseus, and let that be your lighthouse, which will guide you across the dark barren sea.
Process explanation:
I took my original freewrite and read through to find the main points I made in my freewrite. I found three main points that I could divide into the three paragraphs. I looked through what I've already written in order to find a good hook and conclusion. After I have my main structure sorted out, I then start editing what I've already writen by adding more info and making the words flow better. Then I connect each paragraph in a way that the readers can easily follow my train of thought. What I realized while reading my original freewrite was that my hook was located at the begining of my second paragraph, I thought this was an interesting self observation.
freewrite 2 Comparing The Aeneid and The Iliad
Original:
The Iliad and the "The Aeneid" are both considered classics in epic poetry. Both invoke fate, duty, and the importance of being a hero. The Iliad takes place during the Trojan war, and focuses on the destruction and darker sides of war, while the "The Aeneid" is about the aftermath of the Trojan battle, about rebirth of a new civilization and celebration. They’re both about the Trojan war, but from a different view and have the story following the lives of the main hero.
The hero of the “The Iliad,” Achilles, is brave and respected by the people, but can be vain and misguided by emotion. He does not seek to join the war, but rather refuses and wants no part in it. The death of his young companion and friend, Patroclus, by the hands of the enemy's best solder Hector, was what brought Achilles to join the war in order to avenge his companion. The Iliad is more about heroism and honor, and this shows through Achilles’ desire for a heroic and memorable death.
In contrast, Aeneas, hero of The "The Aeneid", is pushed by his belief in his duty to fulfill his destiny. He’s not driven by his emotion and need for revenge, like Achilles, but rather that he thinks it's part of his duty to the people, and that he needs to fulfill his fate. The "The Aeneid" focuses more on ones fate and duty , and reflects the Roman idea of one having to accept ones fate and carry out one's duties before you can fulfill your personal desires.
In both stories, the gods play a big role in the outcome and lives of the people. That one must accept the fate that is given to him, and when the gods interfere with the lives of mortals, there really is not much the humans can do about it, other than to choose how to spend the time before their fated, absolute, death.
Peer Review:
3 suggestions
maybe shorten the summary of the Odysseus story a little bit more
compare real life and the story a bit more.
next time, maybe use different word choices:)
3 compliments
THE ENDING OMG
"Just always remember your purpose, like Odysseus, and let that be your lighthouse, which will guide you across the dark barren sea." i was in tears when i read that for reals
the way you reference those small details are amazing.. i can visualise them
starting off with something that we can all relate to is nicely thought
Formalized:
"The Iliad" and the "The Aeneid" are both considered classics in epic poetry. Both invoke fate, duty, and the importance of being a hero. They'’re both about the Trojan war, but from a different view. "The Iliad" takes place during the Trojan war, and focuses on the destruction and darker sides of war, while the "The Aeneid" is about the aftermath of the Trojan battle, about rebirth of a new civilization and celebration. Although the two stories main similarity is the war, there are more ways in which “The Iliad” and “The Aeneid” are similar and/or differ.
The hero of the “"The Iliad",” Achilles, is brave and respected by the people, but can be vain and misguided by emotion. He does not seek to join the war, but rather refuses and wants no part in it. The death of his young companion and friend, Patroclus, by the hands of the enemy's best solder Hector, was what brought Achilles to join the war in order to avenge his companion. He is motivated by individual glory, he fights for glory and revenge. In contrast, Aeneas, hero of The "The Aeneid", is driven by his belief in his duty to the people and the need to fulfil his accepted destiny. Unlike Achilles, Aeneas is not driven by his emotion and need for revenge, but rather that he thinks it's part of his duty to the people, and that he needs to fulfil his fate. Aeneas is motivated by a national glory, his motivation is the establishment of a new nation.
The similarity of both stories, is that of the gods, who play a big role in the outcome and lives of the people. That one must accept the fate that is given to him, and when the gods interfere with the lives of mortals, there really is not much the people can do about it, other than to choose how to spend the time before their fated death.
“The Iliad” is more about heroism and honour, and this shows through Achilles’ desire for a heroic and memorable death. Achilles does not accept his fate as readily as Aeneas in “The Aeneid”, and is more frustrated with the gods. Unlike "The Aeneid", which focuses more on one's fate and duty , and reflects the Roman idea of one having to accept one's fate and carry out one's duties before you can fulfil your personal desires.
“The Iliad” and “The Aeneid” show similarities and differences, but the main themes of fate, heroism, and duty, are all present in the works of Homer and Virgil. The Aeneid and Iliad both portray a world where wars are glorious and the gods directly influence the peoples fate. I think they should be read together, because in truth, they’re like two halves of a story.
Process explanation:
I first needed to do some more research in order to obtain the information I needed to write this freewrite as an essay. After I acquired enough information, I then sorted out the writing I already had by grouping similar thoughts together to form the three paragraphs that are needed (not always) in an essay. Every now and then, I would read over what I have written so far to see if it flows well. Since I basically already have the bases of my essay, it's just a lot of cropping out the bits that don't work, or just changing how I phrase parts of a sentence. Then I put together the hook, conclusion, and three paragraphs, making sure it all goes together smoothly and has a good transaction between each paragraph.