Draft 1
Say life presented you with many doors, and each of these doors leads to a new experience, some doors are square or round, with colours ranging anywhere from dark colours to neon. Would you try opening every door? Or would your fear and doubt the unknown, prevent you from venturing through the doors that seem less familiar to you?
Fear and courage, these two seem like they are always in battle, determining which doors we open and which we do not. But I feel that fear and courage are two parts of a whole, they aren’t enemies, rather they work in harmony to balance apprehension and dauntlessness. Fear can be good, it can protect us from things that may harm us. And courage is what we need to open those bright red doors marked with warning signs: Embarrassment! Humiliation! Failure!
I believe that we must first understand this relationship between fear and courage, before we are able to face our fears.
Three years ago I faced that bright red door marked with the warning signs and the voice inside my head screamed ‘new is bad!’. In that moment I had to find my balance between courage and fear, and had to make the decision of whether to open the door or not.
To be continued...
Fear and courage, these two seem like they are always in battle, determining which doors we open and which we do not. But I feel that fear and courage are two parts of a whole, they aren’t enemies, rather they work in harmony to balance apprehension and dauntlessness. Fear can be good, it can protect us from things that may harm us. And courage is what we need to open those bright red doors marked with warning signs: Embarrassment! Humiliation! Failure!
I believe that we must first understand this relationship between fear and courage, before we are able to face our fears.
Three years ago I faced that bright red door marked with the warning signs and the voice inside my head screamed ‘new is bad!’. In that moment I had to find my balance between courage and fear, and had to make the decision of whether to open the door or not.
To be continued...
draft 2
Behind the flesh, behind the name, there is something inside us that make us who we are. It can't be touched, nor spoken, it's what some might call “character” or “personality”. Our character, values and morals make us who we are because they are what drives us to do what we do.
People are like sailors at sea, each with a map that seems impossible to navigate because the currents are pulling us in different directions. The map is useless unless we have a compass, this compass is powered by our values, what we hold important and the morals that we choose to live by. Our unique characters which encompass all these traits, determine where we are at sea and our destination, or who we are and will be in life.
If this is true, if what defines us at our very core is our character, then who am I?
I am someone who believes circumstances don’t define you, they may impair or hinder you, but you will never become your circumstance. I know this because I didn’t let mine define me. My education as a child took place not at school but at home, since birth to 8th grade I shared this education with my older sister and younger brother in the home that we occupied at the time. I don’t know what kids usually learn kindergarten through 4th grade, but I learned to be the peace keeper between my siblings, to let creativity be my favorite toy, how to pack my suitcase at a week’s notice and I learned everyday what it feels like to want a normal life. Through 4th grade to senior year I learned how to sell goods at street markets with my family, to sing at street fairs with my siblings for loose change, and how great it feels not to have a “normal” life.
Despite the chaos that went on in my past, I had a great childhood. I think this way because I was always surrounded with the people I love and who love me. If it weren’t for my family I think I would be more self destructive than I am now, and my past would have effected me negatively instead of positively.
Because of what I went through, I try not to judge others and I never assume things. I understand that everyone has their own story and went through hardships, and realizing this makes me more compassionate, understanding, and open minded. I had to grow up really fast and become independent, resilient, mature, patient, and driven. I also appreciate everything, the fact that I can go to school, that I have homework to even complain about, and a chance to attend a university. I’m just really appreciative of life and opportunity. I don’t take things for granted, at least try not to.
I am compassionate, patient, respectful, stubborn yet determined, resilient, unprejudiced, filled with curiosity, and motivated. These are my values and characteristics that fuel my compass, and the destination I have in mind is ever changing and always growing, but my next stop is a bigger school in a foreign land.
Changes I made
I wanted to take my PSP in a completely different direction then my first draft. Instead of talking about one failure, since this is a “personal” statement I decided to talk about who I am at the core, and who I am is what I value and believe to be important. This is a chopped up version of the PSP I want to use for college, missing some of the more personal details for the sake of class, but the first two paragraphs are the same. Is it a good topic and is the intro good?
People are like sailors at sea, each with a map that seems impossible to navigate because the currents are pulling us in different directions. The map is useless unless we have a compass, this compass is powered by our values, what we hold important and the morals that we choose to live by. Our unique characters which encompass all these traits, determine where we are at sea and our destination, or who we are and will be in life.
If this is true, if what defines us at our very core is our character, then who am I?
I am someone who believes circumstances don’t define you, they may impair or hinder you, but you will never become your circumstance. I know this because I didn’t let mine define me. My education as a child took place not at school but at home, since birth to 8th grade I shared this education with my older sister and younger brother in the home that we occupied at the time. I don’t know what kids usually learn kindergarten through 4th grade, but I learned to be the peace keeper between my siblings, to let creativity be my favorite toy, how to pack my suitcase at a week’s notice and I learned everyday what it feels like to want a normal life. Through 4th grade to senior year I learned how to sell goods at street markets with my family, to sing at street fairs with my siblings for loose change, and how great it feels not to have a “normal” life.
Despite the chaos that went on in my past, I had a great childhood. I think this way because I was always surrounded with the people I love and who love me. If it weren’t for my family I think I would be more self destructive than I am now, and my past would have effected me negatively instead of positively.
Because of what I went through, I try not to judge others and I never assume things. I understand that everyone has their own story and went through hardships, and realizing this makes me more compassionate, understanding, and open minded. I had to grow up really fast and become independent, resilient, mature, patient, and driven. I also appreciate everything, the fact that I can go to school, that I have homework to even complain about, and a chance to attend a university. I’m just really appreciative of life and opportunity. I don’t take things for granted, at least try not to.
I am compassionate, patient, respectful, stubborn yet determined, resilient, unprejudiced, filled with curiosity, and motivated. These are my values and characteristics that fuel my compass, and the destination I have in mind is ever changing and always growing, but my next stop is a bigger school in a foreign land.
Changes I made
I wanted to take my PSP in a completely different direction then my first draft. Instead of talking about one failure, since this is a “personal” statement I decided to talk about who I am at the core, and who I am is what I value and believe to be important. This is a chopped up version of the PSP I want to use for college, missing some of the more personal details for the sake of class, but the first two paragraphs are the same. Is it a good topic and is the intro good?
draft 3
Prompt: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
I homeschooled till the age of 14, never knew what it’s like to live in the same home for more than a few months, followed my dad to wherever his next job took him, and spent my weekends at different street booths selling goods with my parents. When you come from a different background than other kids, you wonder if this difference makes you lesser than them. For the longest time, I feared that I wasn’t as smart as the other kids that went to school and lived a seemingly normal life. No matter how many times your parents say you are smart and special, you won’t believe them unless given proof. I thought that if I attended school, I wouldn’t be able to hide behind that pretty lie my mom always told me.
On the first day of high school, students were required to prepare a speech to recite in front of everyone the next day. My first thought was ‘how do I get out of this?’. That was my solution for everything, I would run and avoid. I went through greater ordeals than this in my life and yet this speech, something that even elementary students did, terrified me. But for the first time I didn’t run, I decided to do it. Why? Maybe because I didn't want to let my big sister down or have everyone know I ditched. But whatever the reason, with the fear and with the doubt, I stood in front of the class the next day and painfully delivered my speech.
I went up to my sister and told her my horror story... with a big smile on my face. I faced something that scared me so deeply, and what scared me wasn’t the speech itself, but the years of built up self-doubt due to my childhood and my differences. I realized what I overcame and smiled. I didn’t get the answer I was hoping for that day, whether I was as smart or capable as the other kids in the room. But because of that day, I can write to you now saying circumstances don’t define me, I do.
Because of what I went through, I try not to judge others and I never assume things. Everyone has their own story and went through hardships. I appreciate everything; the fact that I can go to school, that I have homework to even complain about, and a chance to attend a university. I work at being appreciative of life and opportunity every day, and never take things for granted. I had a strong loving foundation as a child and that is why my family and I were able to withstand everything we went through. I don’t know what kids usually learn in K-12, but I learned to act as the peacekeeper between my siblings, to let creativity be my favourite toy, and how to pack my suitcase at a week’s notice. I learned how to sell goods at street markets with my family, and how great it feels not to have a “normal” life.
Changes Made
Basically everything. I decided to write about my background because that was the thing that had the most impact on my character and who I am now. My fears and my strengths came from my past, so it felt most fitting to write about that. I feel like a lot of areas are a little forced and too sudden of an Aha moment. Of course these 500 words don’t cover even five percent of my life, but it was the right topic so I went with it.
I homeschooled till the age of 14, never knew what it’s like to live in the same home for more than a few months, followed my dad to wherever his next job took him, and spent my weekends at different street booths selling goods with my parents. When you come from a different background than other kids, you wonder if this difference makes you lesser than them. For the longest time, I feared that I wasn’t as smart as the other kids that went to school and lived a seemingly normal life. No matter how many times your parents say you are smart and special, you won’t believe them unless given proof. I thought that if I attended school, I wouldn’t be able to hide behind that pretty lie my mom always told me.
On the first day of high school, students were required to prepare a speech to recite in front of everyone the next day. My first thought was ‘how do I get out of this?’. That was my solution for everything, I would run and avoid. I went through greater ordeals than this in my life and yet this speech, something that even elementary students did, terrified me. But for the first time I didn’t run, I decided to do it. Why? Maybe because I didn't want to let my big sister down or have everyone know I ditched. But whatever the reason, with the fear and with the doubt, I stood in front of the class the next day and painfully delivered my speech.
I went up to my sister and told her my horror story... with a big smile on my face. I faced something that scared me so deeply, and what scared me wasn’t the speech itself, but the years of built up self-doubt due to my childhood and my differences. I realized what I overcame and smiled. I didn’t get the answer I was hoping for that day, whether I was as smart or capable as the other kids in the room. But because of that day, I can write to you now saying circumstances don’t define me, I do.
Because of what I went through, I try not to judge others and I never assume things. Everyone has their own story and went through hardships. I appreciate everything; the fact that I can go to school, that I have homework to even complain about, and a chance to attend a university. I work at being appreciative of life and opportunity every day, and never take things for granted. I had a strong loving foundation as a child and that is why my family and I were able to withstand everything we went through. I don’t know what kids usually learn in K-12, but I learned to act as the peacekeeper between my siblings, to let creativity be my favourite toy, and how to pack my suitcase at a week’s notice. I learned how to sell goods at street markets with my family, and how great it feels not to have a “normal” life.
Changes Made
Basically everything. I decided to write about my background because that was the thing that had the most impact on my character and who I am now. My fears and my strengths came from my past, so it felt most fitting to write about that. I feel like a lot of areas are a little forced and too sudden of an Aha moment. Of course these 500 words don’t cover even five percent of my life, but it was the right topic so I went with it.
Final
Prompt: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
I homeschooled till the age of fourteen, never knew what it’s like to live in the same home for more than a few months, followed my dad to wherever his next job took him, and spent my weekends at different street booths selling goods with my parents. When you come from a different background than other kids, you wonder if this difference makes you lesser than them. For the longest time, I feared that I wasn’t as smart as the other kids that went to school and lived a seemingly normal life. No matter how many times your parents say you are smart and special, you won’t believe them unless given proof. I thought that if I attended school, I wouldn’t be able to hide behind that pretty lie my mom always told me.
On the first day of high school, students were required to prepare a speech to recite in front of everyone the next day. My first thought was ‘how do I get out of this?’. That was my solution for everything, I would run and avoid. I went through greater ordeals than this in my life and yet this speech, something that even elementary students did, terrified me. But for the first time I didn’t run, I decided to do it. Why? Maybe because I didn't want to let my big sister down or have everyone know I ditched. But whatever the reason, with the fear and with the doubt, I stood in front of the class the next day and painfully delivered my speech.
I went up to my sister and told her my horror story. I faced something that scared me so deeply, and what scared me wasn’t the speech itself, but the years of built up self-doubt due to my childhood and my differences. I realized what I overcame and I smiled, not because I was hiding my failure, but because despite everything in my body telling me to run, I didn’t run. I faced my audience and I faced my differences.
I didn’t get the answer I was hoping for that day, whether I was as smart or capable as the other kids in the room. However, because of that day, I can write to you now saying circumstances don’t define me, I do. Because of what I went through, I try not to judge others or assume things, I work at being appreciative of life and opportunity every day, and I never take things for granted. I appreciate everything; the fact that I can go to school, that I have homework to even complain about, and a chance to attend a university. Everyone has their own story and went through hardships. I had a strong loving foundation as a child and that is why my family and I were able to withstand everything we went through. I don’t know what kids usually learn in K-12, but I learned to act as the peacekeeper between my siblings, to let creativity be my favorite toy, and to pack my suitcase at a week’s notice. I learned how to sell goods at street markets with my family, and how great it feels not to have a “normal” life.
Changes Made
I took the advice that was written on my PSP by my peers, mostly some parts were confusing or didn't flow nicely. Also changed "14" to "fourteen". Did some re-arranging too, to try and make it easier to follow my stream of thought.